Saturday, January 23

Tortoise


“We called him Tortoise because he taught us.”
~ Lewis Carroll


It's no secret that we often refer to Mr. Parker as 'turtle.' From the very beginning both in his looks and actions he has resembled a turtle. I ran across this quote the other day and chills entered my body. So true was this statement especially on that particular day.

The last few months have been hard. I knew I was never alone in my struggles, as many new moms have gone through the same things... but yet I was. Doug working, friends working and family on the other side of the globe, I felt very alone.

We had teething, Christmas travels and slightly compromised immune systems. The sleep that I ignorantly had taken for granted was gone and looked as if it would NEVER return.

I found myself growing weaker and struggling. I began questioning my child, my mothering skills and even if I could do 'this,' period. Every conversation was about me, me, me and questions of why, why, why. It became very vain... 'why is he acting like this?' 'This shouldn't be happening to me.'

Finally one day, after a great devotion and a phone call from a friend... I got it. The reality check that I needed. All the hard stuff that I was experiencing was motherhood. Parker's struggles were innocent and most likely to teach me a lesson.

The day that I decided to accept each new challenge or experience as a blessing, things changed! Parker slept through the night and has continues to sleep better. I am no longer questioning myself as a mother or my parenting style. Parker is a fine communicator, all I have to do is listen. Block out the outside world and it's influences, naysayers and criticism and listen to my intuition.

I now fully understand why we felt the need to call him turtle. Because he is here to teach us, especially me! Thank you Parker for holding the mirror nice and steady for me to see! (It must have been so heavy for you to hold it for so long! Next time I will be quicker!) With my pride no longer on my shoulders, the gain of sleep and the little bit of yoga... I am a new and stronger women! Thank you tortoise for the life lessons. Please, keep them coming!

2 comments:

Toni said...

I absolutely love this. You are amazing!

Anonymous said...

You share the sweetest insights. - Gail (webmaster for sdturtle.org)